90 Funny Christmas Card Messages

Short and Sweet Funny Christmas Messages

1. Eat, drink, and be very merry. Repeat as often as needed. Wishing you an awesome Christmas holiday!



2. May your presents be many and troubles be few. And may Santa be gracious to you.



3. May your jingle be jolly this Christmas season.



4. May your days be merry and bright, and your credit card bills light!



5. Christmas is all fun and games until Santa checks the naughty list. Good luck, my friend!



6. Wishing you a Christmas so bright, it could power Rudolph's nose!



7. Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we diet! Happy Holidays!



8. Don't wake me up until you check under the tree and make sure there are lots of presents for me!



9. May your Wi-Fi be strong, your family be civil, and your presents be numerous. Happy Holidays!



10. Don't let your visa become your Santa!



11. I'm dreaming of a white Christmas... but if the white runs out, I'll drink the red!



12. Christmas calories don’t count. Enjoy every bite!



13. 
    Christmas Quotes



14. Sleigh your day with holiday cheer!



15. Wrapping presents is all fun until you run out of tape. Happy Holidays!



16. Wishing you peace, love, and no tangled Christmas lights!



17. Have a tree-mendous Christmas filled with laughter and love!



18. May your Christmas be as lit as your tree!



19. Let’s eat, drink, and wear stretchy pants. Merry Christmas!



20. Hope your holidays sparkle like glitter on an ugly Christmas sweater!



21. Christmas: the one day of the year when matching pajamas are acceptable.



22. 
    Christmas Verses





Family Christmas Card Messages

23. My math may not be the best but I sure know that I can count on you as number one. Merry Christmas!



24. Families have their ups and downs. Sometimes it seems we are all clowns. But on this Christmas just let me say I am happy we're together, celebrating this day!



25. May the shine of your bald head be the light guiding the reindeer to your home this Christmas. Have a very merry holiday!



26. Can you believe that Christmas is approaching? Golly, we hope yours will be jolly!



27. With age, Christmas wishes become not to have to do the dishes.



28. Wishing you a holiday season so jolly, even your in-laws are fun!



29. May your family be functional and all your batteries be charged! It is the reason in this season to be a little topsy turvy or even a little tipsy! Cheers to a wonderful Christmas!



30. This Christmas, may the only "silent night" be when the kids are asleep!



31. 
    Christmas Poems Twas The Night Before



32. The best gift we have is each other—no wrapping required. Merry Christmas!



33. From our messy, loving family to yours, wishing you a holiday full of joy!



34. Christmas chaos is better when shared with family. Let’s make some memories!



35. Here's hoping your holiday is filled with laughter, love, and maybe some earplugs!



36. Forget the gifts; your presence is the real present this year. Merry Christmas!



37. Let’s eat, laugh, and love like there’s no tomorrow—Merry Christmas, family!



38. Cookies crumble, trees tip over, but family is forever. Merry Christmas!



39. May our family’s love keep us warm when the weather outside is frightful!



40. Christmas reminds us that family time is priceless (even when it’s loud).



41. Let’s deck the halls with laughter and sprinkle the season with hugs!



42. From baking disasters to wrapping paper battles, here’s to more holiday memories!



43. May our family be a little less "Grinch" and a lot more "Merry" this Christmas!



44. 
    Funny Christmas Poems





Funny Christmas Card Messages for Friends

45. You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new vacuum cleaner for Christmas.



46. Make sure you laugh lots this Christmas season, as when the New Year starts - the bills will come piling in and you won't want to laugh then.



47. Santa's reindeer are just like us, trying to navigate through the year without a GPS.



48. As I grow older, I'm not sure which comes first - Claus or Santa, or Santa and Claus. But, one thing I know for sure is that I'll never forget you! Merry Christmas!



49. I've prepared my naughty and nice list. Good news - you've finally made my 'nice' list. Congratulations! Merry Christmas!



50. Santa's got nothing on you; you're the real gift in our lives. Merry Christmas!



51. Christmas is about spending time with people you love... so thanks for being my friend, even though you steal the last cookie.



52. You’re on my nice list this year! (Okay, the naughty list was full.) Merry Christmas!



53. Let’s raise a glass to friendship and the fact that we’re both still terrible at wrapping gifts. Cheers!



54. 
    Christmas Messages



55. They say it’s the thought that counts... so I thought about buying you something amazing. Merry Christmas!



56. You’re the tinsel to my tree and the marshmallow in my cocoa. Merry Christmas, friend!



57. Thanks for being the person I can send ugly sweater memes to all year round. Merry Christmas!



58. Here’s to a holiday filled with laughter, joy, and as little awkward family time as possible.



59. I hope your Christmas is filled with more fun than a snowball fight we can’t win!



60. You’re the Rudolph to my sleigh—always leading me to the fun. Merry Christmas!



61. If Christmas cheer could be bottled, I’d send you an entire case! Merry Christmas!



62. If laughter is the best gift, then consider this card my way of spoiling you rotten.



63. Wishing you all the happiness your heart can handle and none of the fruitcake your stomach can’t.



64. Santa may know when you’ve been naughty, but don’t worry—your secrets are safe with me!



65. This year, may your Christmas spirit be stronger than your eggnog.



66. Here’s to holiday traditions like overeating, oversleeping, and oversharing. Merry Christmas!



67. May your Christmas be filled with more joy than untangling holiday lights.



68. 
    Christmas Poems





Funny Santa Messages for Christmas Cards

69. Slipping and sliding, like penguins in a race, counting down the days for Christmas we brace.



70. Christmas is the only time of year in which one can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks.



71. If your holidays aren't filled with lots of ho-ho-ho, you've missed it!



72. Why does Santa now look younger than me? I wonder if he'll share his secret for staying the same age each year.



73. The Christmas countdown has begun, counting the days for Christmas fun.



74. I can't wait for Santa dear. Oh, the jingle jangle on the roof I will hear. May the time go fast for all; the day will come and we will have a bawl.



75. All through the house, not even a mouse. Look out, though, for the little munchkins running to and fro searching for treasures left by old St. Nic. Have a wonderful joy-filled Christmas time.



76. Santa’s list is outdated—let’s just agree you’re awesome and deserve gifts!



77. 
    Santa Poems



78. Be nice to Santa this year; he’s the only one who understands our kind of humor!



79. Dear Santa, please note: cookies are in the kitchen, and wine is by the tree.



80. Santa called. He said your gift was too awesome to fit in his sleigh!



81. If Santa sees you when you’re sleeping, does he also notice your late-night snacking?



82. Ho-ho-hope Santa brings you everything you wished for—and maybe a few surprises!



83. Let’s be real: Santa’s magic isn’t in his sleigh; it’s in his stretchy waistband!



84. Santa works one night a year, and I’m still jealous of his vacation schedule.



85. 
    Children's Christmas Poems



86. May your holidays be as magical as Santa’s ability to avoid traffic on Christmas Eve!



87. Santa’s reindeer want a raise. After all, they’ve been carrying Christmas for centuries!



88. If you hear hoofbeats on the roof, don’t panic—it’s just Santa’s reindeer doing their cardio!



89. Santa doesn’t judge, but he did leave a gym membership under the tree last year.



90. 
    Funny Santa Claus Poems